1. this year, espn fantasy football dude matthew berry threw in tons of hitchhikers guide references to his draft day manifesto column.

    It all starts at your draft, and specifically, in the first two rounds. You know the top of the draft is important. Really important. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly important it is. I mean, you might think picking up the right 10th-round wide receiver is important, but that’s just peanuts to the first two rounds.”

    i assume it was written just for me, the one guy who loves both fantasy football and hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

     

  2. every time

    someone asked me “you know what’s cool?” today

    i answered “a billion dollars.”

     
  3. rejectedjokes:

    Some wonderful person has posted the EXTENDED NEVER BEFORE SEEN BONUS Rodney Waber clip from last year’s Comedy Bang Bang TV show with America’s Sweetheart Anna Kendrick and Scott Aukerman. In this episode, I play Rodney Waber, publicist to Harrison Ford who by mistake thought Scott wanted him on the show instead of Harrison. I forgot the last sixty seconds of this ever happened. We finally unlock the secret to When Harry Met Sally’s famous deli scene.

    CLICK HERE TO SEE THE STUFF THAT MADE IT TO AIR

     
     

  4. i had a dream last night where i bought like 20 boxes of cereal. cinnamon life, apple jacks, crunchberries capn crunch, cinnamon toast crunch, raisin bran, and corn flakes.

    i would never buy corn flakes, the dream got that one wrong. everything else is accurate though.

     
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  7. note to self: find out if canadians say “mazda” the same way americans do

     
  8. jamesadomian:

    Writing session with John Roy.

    that is a very interesting piece there on the left with the weed in it. it looks like a pipe but it has legs? is the pipe a dog?

     

  9. every so often i will remember a funny thing and want to reference it, then remember that i heard it on a dvd commentary and for some reason no one gets when you quote something from a dvd commentary

    "those tits make me think about fucking" - brian posehn, mr show dvd commentary

     
  10. come on tumblr don’t let me down

     

  11. my heart always skips a beat when i get “friendly reminders” about payment deadlines for classes

    i paid immediately my classes are mine you cannot take them from me!

     

  12. don’t panic

     

  13. the real way to win monopoly is to have your character kill him or herself once you have the most money. everyone else can keep playing but you went out on top. and no one else gets your money, you left it to your kids in a trust fund that cannot be accessed until their 18th birthday.

     

  14. "go bayside" is one of my favorite podcasts. all they do is discuss saved by the bell, a television show that i have never seen a single episode of.

    i should do this for the west wing.

    a serious, political and social analysis of the show. let me just call up all my famous comedian friends to get this going.

     

  15. guardians of the galaxy is the best star wars film since empire strikes back