1. completehogwash:

    My spirit animal

    (via stand-up-comic-gifs)

  2. don hertzfeldt (of “rejected” fame) did an opening for the simpsons and… yeah

  3. excited


  4. i have a site that describes the differences between “affect” and “effect” on my toolbar bookmarks


  6. royals make it to the playoffs for the first time in my lifetime. that’s cool, good for them and their fans.

    eat it, a’s.

    go angels.


  8. seriously the royals and the a’s are playing the greatest game of baseball i have ever seen

    not like, skill wise, it’s sloppy as fuck, but holy shit this is entertaining


  10. 7 - 7 tie in the top of the 11th in the one game playoff of oakland at kansas city

    sports is the best reality show


  11. cams’ picks for new 2014 comedies

    a to z - know very little about it but i’ve heard very good things. i won’t get into how beautiful i think cristin milioti is, but she’s a talent. ben feldman has emerged as one of my favorite people from mad men so it’ll be good to see him do his thing. katey segal is involved so it gets points for that. ever since i heard about this show i thought it was “how i met your father v2.0” and it may be, but i’m down for that.

    selfie - i really want this to be good because of those involved but things i’ve heard plus the premise makes me worried.

    mulaney - john mulaney is one of the funniest english speaking human beings on the planet so i very much want this to be good. i’ll go so far as to say that even if it isn’t good, i want it to be successful so it can get better. mulaney deserves the chance.

    marry me - my pick of the season. in my mind it is the “spiritual successor” to “happy endings”, which was my favorite comedy on television while it was airing. casey wilson, ken marino, and a giant pile of funny people. i haven’t heard anything about its quality so far but my optimism will not be shaken. i will give this show as much time as it needs.

    benched - know absolutely NOTHING about it, but it has eliza coupe. will watch.


  12. holy shit

    this girl sitting next to me was going through her wallet for a second

    she has a photo of herself on her credit card

    not like a family photo, its a headshot of herself

    thank you, universe


  13. i’m gonna open up an apartment complex and let my tenants pay their rent in gratitude.

    they just have to show up and demonstrate to me that someone is grateful to them.


  14. if i were tom brady, i wouldn’t play football. i wouldn’t do anything. i’d just be a very pretty man and coast on that.

    which is exactly how i live my life right now.

    i think i am as pretty as tom brady.


  15. one of my best friends is moving to texas

    this is sad because a friend is moving far away and great because i like talking shit on texas

    i was gonna say “making jokes about texas” but i realized that’s giving it too much credit. i just like to speak about texas in a disparaging manner.

    really, as far as states go, texas isn’t even that bad

    but still